"Why did you leave me? When did you leave me? Where was I when this happened?" -Tigress Luv What a life. This little bug living on a sand spur. Maybe they do it to protect themselves? I mean, I can understand why they'd chose to hang out on a sand spur. They hurt. They would probably deter anything trying to eat them. As I was watching this little guy and contemplating why this bug would choose to live here it made me think of someone I was talking to today. Someone that I've asked countless times why she chooses to live where she does. The way she does. With who she does. Because she is scared like this little bug. Scared to be without security. Scared of what it will do to her boys. So like the little green bug, she walks around on pins and needles all the time waiting for something better to come along. But I don't think she'd know it if it smacked her in the face. She deserves so much more than anything he has ever been willing to give her. I think the real reason she stays is that she is afraid that SHE will forget about HIM so easily if she moved on. She says she "loves" him, but she doesn't. She's not IN love with him, anyway. Of that I am absolutely, positively sure. No matter how much she gives and gives and gives him, she can't bribe him to love her.
One day I hope she will look at the times she felt unloved or uncared for as a result of her relationship and see that she's rejecting herself as much as he is rejecting her. She isn't allowing herself to be loved like she deserves. Only when she releases what she is clinging to can she feel joy again. I can hold her hand, and I can tell her that I love her, but I can't uplift her soul again. Only she can do that. She has to leave the safety of the spur and live again.
i love your blogs!!! :)
ReplyDeleteooo that last comment makes me think of that song "why you gotta be anonymous?" lol Anyhoo, I <3 your pictures my love !!
ReplyDeleteohhhh we have a mystery commenter! ;)
ReplyDeleteI will say this. I was in a similar situation and stayed in it for 12 years. The someone you speak of is much better off that I was in that, so far, her self esteem has not been crushed into the ground like a bug. Mine was. I thought there is no way in life I could go on, no way someone would ever love or care for me, no way I could make it on my own. Well, I was so wrong. I am so blessed that I was wrong. I am so blessed to have met your uncle. Sure he has his moments but he loves us all and keeps us all safe.
ReplyDeleteTo the someone you speak of... you won't have to do anything on your own. You have a great support system. Think of how rough your life was before your parents divorce. Put yourself in your boys shoes... now run! I love you.